Side Note: While the weekend before my birthday was spent with much youthful debauchery, my actual birthday day included a visit to the doctor to see why I was having weird numb and tingly sensations throughout my right hip. Only old people have hip problems.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Old People Questions
My first post as a 30 year old. I don’t have anything monumental or revelatory to say. Not because I haven’t had revelations and not because “nothing really changed” as many lying 30 year olds say, but because I spent all of 29 planning for turning 30. I am sure most women need at least a year of preparation for this birthday that morphs us overnight from a girl to a woman. I used eye wrinkle cream for the first time, confirmed and reconfirmed that I still had regular “normal” periods (fear of early menopause), counted grey hairs (6) and ate extra avocados (I’m convinced they are the secret to youth). I spent an entire year “trying on old.” And even though everyone says 30 is just a number, it comes with certain expectations that I actually subscribe to. Such as, I expect to have answer to the questions “what do you do for a living?” and “where do you live?” and “do you plan on having kids?” And even though those things don’t have to matter... they do matter to me and I want all those things and I have answers for the most part to all those questions but with all those questions come sub-questions that I ask myself. “Where do you live?” turns into 'Do I want to own a home in A Town?' and 'Do I want to live in the city or the suburb' and 'What kind of down payment do we want to put down' and 'What kind of mortgage' and ewwwwwwww these are OLD PEOPLE QUESTIONS. Other OPQ’s include: “Does your job have a matching 401k program” and “Should I be using antifungal cream on that?” and “Honey can you call the vet?” and “Who knew Sonicare made your gums feel so good?” and “Should we just get them something off their registry?” Things have changed, I have changed, and 30 is a big deal. Is it weird that I find solace in the fact that Kim Kardashian is one year older?